life & times

Cos even stars they burn, some even fall to the earth

2012-01-28T10:10:00.000+08:00

I'm so annoying heheh sorry Ksherah

Skyping with Navini from Italia!!!!!!

Photo with Marina's hand because Marina doesn't like taking photos

Photo with Marina anyway

I love Jason Mraz.

Back to school in two days!

AND WE ARE ON OUR WAY TO WEMBLEY

2012-01-26T06:07:00.004+08:00

Walk on, walk ooooooon, with hope in your heart,

And You'll Never Walk Alone ☺

Shot me out of the sky, you're my kryptonite

2012-01-25T09:11:00.000+08:00

Before I continue I would just like to say that I like One Direction and my favourite is Louis Tomlinson. Niall and Harry too. Hehe.

Good morning, world!!!

2012 has been great so far. I've been so busy with everything! Homework, SFS, ICC, SAEYLS, PRS, handball, tuition. I'm thankful, though, because I don't waste my time as much anymore. I'm in 5SA with Aqila and Yasshene and I actually really like my class. All my classmates are studious though and they teach me stuff that I don't understand really well. And I don't understand a lot of stuff...

Stayback season has started and we've had elections for everything already. I'm the Treasurer for Blue House! Masnizza is my Vice and I like her a lot. Iqffa is our Captain and Nad is our Vice. So much faith in both of them. Also, I'm the class monitor again. 5th year in a row, hahaha that's amazing.

And Interact? Interact's doing good! We're currently planning Sirens For Silhouettes. We started the it Gets Better photo drive on Friday and the support we are getting is overwhelming. None of us expected to get this much support. Right now, we already have 273 It Gets Better photos. Don't know what I'm talking about? Click here. So show your support as well! Take a photo of you or anyone else you know, holding up a sign that says "It Gets Better". This is to support our cause of suicide awareness :) Then e-mail it to me at hannahaizal@hotmail.com.

Here are some of my favourites!

Also, while we're at it, be sure to attend ICC Concert 2012! It'll be just a week before, on 31st March 2012. Our theme is AURUM: The Golden Touch and we're gonna make it different this year, I can tell you that. And if you're from the six ICCPJ schools and you're itching to show off your talent, do come for our auditions! It will be this 18th February 2012. Contact me for more details!

Now that I've already had a bit of taste on what 2012's like, here are some goals I hope to achieve:

1) Straight As for SPM.

2) Good results for March Test, Midterms and Trials.

3) Do the best I can for and with Interact.

4) Enjoy every bit of high school.

5) Read more.

6) Listen to good music more.

7) Watch football more.

8) Participate in things more.

9) Maintain a good relationship with everyone ~~who matters~~. Yes, everyone.

10) Whine, complain, bad talk less.

Signing out,

xoxo Gadis Gosip hahahahahaha

"All I want for New Years is you~"

2012-01-01T01:47:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 2012, EVERYBODY!!!

It's 1:26am on 1st January 2012, and I'm chilling in the hotel room at Grand Lexis, Port Dickson with my family. Expected a boring NYE but I had fun today - had a much needed full body massage at the spa and spent most of the day exploring the hotel. This place is lovely, I'd definitely recommend it for a short getaway from KL.

I realised something. It doesn't matter how you spend your New Years. If you didn't enjoy it, it certainly doesn't mean you won't enjoy the rest of the year. 1st January is just like any other day. It'll be amazing, if you make it amazing.

2012 will be amazing, if you make it amazing. :)

Unlike most people, I didn't enjoy 2011 as much as I thought I would. Sure, I had good times that I'll remember for a long time. But honestly I spent a lot of the past year being upset about things I shouldn't be upset about. I made lots of mistakes, went through rough times with some people, my grades dropped tremendously but in a way I'm thankful it all happened. 2011 wasn't the best but I learnt a lot.

Most people don't make New Year resolutions but since I kind of kept mine last year, I think I'll make three that I'll hopefully be able to keep:

1) To love more and hate less.

2) To work hard to achieve my goals, especially in academics.

3) To stop swearing completely.

To sum it up, my resolution is like everyone else's: to be a better person.

Let's see how that goes.

Elephant Appreciation Post 2011

2011-12-23T08:48:00.000+08:00

It's been about two weeks since my last post, hi Blogger. I've been pretty busy which is great. Mainly with Interact and tuition. I remember at the start of the holidays I said I'd revise my Form Four syllabus over the holidays so I won't struggle next year, unsurprisingly that didn't turn out well. I still have about a week to catch up at least a little though. I haven't touched my History textbook since school ended.

I'll be a Form Five student in just over a week. I'm not ready. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm not prepared. I'll be in 5 Science Akasia (don't ask about the name change of the class...), and hey take a look at my classmates:

I will die. So much pressure, I don't know if I'll be able to handle it. I have Yassh and Aqila in my class though, which I'm really thankful for. :)

I have gained so much weight too, which I'm really bummed about because it's not like I wasn't heavy enough to begin with.

I know everyone's saying how the holidays are boring and whatnot but even though I stay at home on most days (if I leave the house it would be for classes and meetings), I'm still really enjoying the break from school. It's my last high school year-end holiday and I have had so much time for myself (which I also have been taking for granted). I know I won't get this kind of time next year. I'll be busy with Interact, PRS, SAEYLS, Blue house, handball, Ed Board... Pretty crazy huh? I hope I'll be able to cope well and not underperform in any of them.

SPM is in less than a year. SPM. SPM! Before I know it it'll be mid-November already and I'll be in the examination hall waiting to sit for the first paper. I'm already scared. Cakap je takut tapi bukannya nak belajar.

Hmm. You know how sometimes I'm like "Be thankful for what you have, you are blessed." but then two days later I complain about something I shouldn't be complaining about? Or be sad over something I shouldn't be so sad about? Like... feelings. Yeah, feelings. I'm very sure other people, most if not all, are the same. I hope I change in that aspect... because as much as people don't like being reminded of this, we are all blessed. Really, really blessed. What I've been so thankful for for the past two months is that I have a few friends that I can start a conversation with and tell them everything I feel and they always know what to say. Not to mention still having all my family members around. Like I said, blessed.

I'll be spending New Years with my family this year, just like I did last year. This time it'll be just the five of us at Grand Lexis, PD. I won't deny that at first I was pretty upset about it because I wanted to spend New Years here, but after what Jim and Mira told me about the hotel, and after I checked out the website myself, yeah I'm pretty excited. Maybe it'll be a good change. Sign of a good year to come, hopefully? :)

It's 8.45am now. Gotta make today productive. Adios!!!

2011-12-09T01:25:00.000+08:00

♥ ♥ ♥

ICCPJ Charity Concert 2012 AUDITIONS!!!

2011-12-04T22:07:00.000+08:00

Who's interested to perform for next year's ICCPJ Concert?! As long as you're a student of one of the six ICCPJ schools, you're more than welcomed to audition!

Details HERE.

See you there!
Viva La Interact x

'cause lately i've been tired

2011-11-30T22:06:00.000+08:00

Hilman has HFM disease and Wan fractured her ankle when she fell down earlier this morning.

Qadri, Qaisara and Aunty Lynn have been sick for days (Qadri has it worse since he just recovered from HFM disease too) and Jaddi is currently at the hospital getting his blood pressure checked. He stopped taking his medicine (some? most?).

Worried about all of them, and it's very weird how all of this is happening at the same time.

Get well soon, family.

♥

Assumption Soup Kitchen

2011-11-30T13:23:00.001+08:00

I just got back from Assumption Family House. Volunteered there earlier this morning with Yassh, Mira, Marina, Amalina, Nad, Sasha and a few others. It was my first time! We didn't cook the food though, but we prepared everything and cleaned up after that. Then helped to pack the food. Rice, chicken curry and long beans. By the time we were done (about 300 packs! Super tiring) most of us already had to go home. Yassh, Sasha and I followed Ms Alice to deliver the food.

I'm not sure where we went but it was somewhere near Sunway (I think?) at the low-cost flat area. We helped distribute the packs to the people there. Realised how pretty damn lucky I really am. There was this man who had arms until just above where his elbows should be. He had hands that weren't fully formed. He took the food packs and said thank you, then walked off.

I know people have told me to be grateful before, but looking at those people.. all I can say is, I'm glad I went to deliver the food earlier and hopefully it won't be my last time.

Happy things.

2011-11-29T14:40:00.000+08:00

Posted this on Twitter:

And got this:

Blessed.

Math, Science, History, unraveling the mysteries that all started with the Big Bang, BANG!

2011-11-21T10:58:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHA.

I couldn't even spell the simplest things when I was 6!

Going through my e-mail inbox now and I'm having a good time laughing at how retarded I was (still am no?) back then.

Hasya's at KYS now, she'll be back on Wednesday. She's there for the residence-based selection where they'll assess her social skills, sports skills and so on. Her interview's on Tuesday, and she has an exam today I think. Man, it's tough to get into KYS.

Every year the school receives about 6000 applications. Only 2000 will be called to sit for the first written test. From there, 200 will be selected to stay at the campus for 4D3N; this is the residence-based selection.

Usually they only choose 60 students, but for next year's batch they'll be choosing 80. From the 80, 30 students will be under the Axiata scholarship and the other 50 will be under fee-paying. From the 50, only 1/3 will be girls. So you see how tight the competition is for Hasya?

She's incredibly smart though. But even if she gets it but we can't find a scholarship for her, she won't be going, most probably. The non-refundable fees goes up to RM30, 000! I'm not sure whether that's until Form Three or only for this year but seriously? My school fees don't even go up to RM100! That's not even counting the refundable payments which all in all would cost up to RM100, 000. Oh yeah.

It's an amazing school though, and it's almost guaranteed that you graduate with straight As for both PMR and SPM. If Hasya doesn't go to KYS, she'll most probably go to Sri Aman. I hated the idea at first, but it seems alright now.

Why am I blogging so much about her anyway?

NO I DON'T MISS HER.

But I like this picture of the three of us + Mommy hehe.

Anyway, watched the Chelsea vs Liverpool match last night, it's been so long since I've watched football! (I didn't watch the Liverpool vs Swansea / England vs Spain since I was in London. Didn't even watch any SEA games!)

We played horribly during the 2nd half and I'm surprised we won the game in the end! Thank goodness for Glen Johnson. YNWA.

(I'm pointing out Torres and Meireles by the way, who both got subbed in at the same time!)

I know how other Kopites have long forgotten about Torres and Meireles, but I still kind of wished they were still in Liverpool. :(

We've got a game against Man City next week (hahahahaa.......) and 48 hours later, Chelsea AGAIN. Playing away AGAIN.

What is with our luck nowadays?

Recently I've either been blogging about football or something else that noone else finds interesting except me.

Oh! On the plane on the way back to KL, Hasya and I watched TBBT (Click!!! I could grow my own Leonard Nimoy!!!!!!!!!!).

And here's another one!

Funniest show ever! Hahaha it's been sometime since I've enjoyed watching a TV show so much. I'm like 5 years late though, but better that then never right?

So life has been pretty good. I've been reading too. Haven't read too many yet and so far there's been nothing that I've found really good. Just picking up chick flicks that I can find around the house and such.

And I've been somewhat busy as well! Which I really like. :)

I'll blog again soon! Hehe x

So how was my birthday?

2011-11-17T23:58:00.000+08:00

Received a lovely phonecall at 12am.
Watched KL Gangster with Aqila, Azraa, Seri, Ksherah and Syaza.
Did SAEYLS work.
Watched half of Inception.
Ordered McD's for Recess.
Went to McD's for meeting after school.
Got a surprise cake (half a cake actually :p) from my dear friends.
Got locked under the playground at McD's.
Had birthday dinner at Grill Asia.
Replied wishes.

Another year older.

SPM 2012!!!

2011-11-16T20:48:00.001+08:00

Bahasa Melayu

English

Mathematics

Additional Mathematics

Biology

Chemistry

Physics

History

Agama Islam

Tasawwur Islam

Economics

Registered for 11 subjects to take for SPM. Can I handle it? I have no idea. Which is why I really need to make full use of my time and constantly revise Form Four syllabus so I don't struggle next year. I can drop the subject, though, but only by the first week of school. Which means I need to think it through properly.

I'll have Interact (!!!) to worry about next year. Not to mention Blue House, PRS, handball, Ed Board, class matters and everything else! I want to make my senior year really memorable. Don't want to screw up so much.

I like Bio, I don't want to drop that. Chem's alright, and Physics is just a huge pain in the ass for me - yet I still don't want to drop either. Tasawwur Islam's fine, it's actually not bad at all. Then why suddenly Economics, right? Mommy said it would be a good subject to take, and my career options so far have a lot to do with Economics.

I got 3A+ 4A 2A- and 1C+ for finals. Yeap. C+. For Physics. One more mark to get a freaking B.
Don't get me wrong, I'm actually quite happy with my results. Just really, really, really upset about Physics.

I just don't want to regret having so much to handle then ending up being so disappointed. This year itself, with only 10 subjects, was tough enough.

Decisions, decisions.

"And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make."

2011-11-14T13:41:00.001+08:00

Friday, 4th November

8 hour flight to Dubai, 7 hours to London!

Saturday, 5th November

HELLO LONDON!!!

Sunday, 6th November

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha! :)

Oxford St!!!

Monday, 7th November

Madame Tussauds!!!!!!!!!!!

Emirates!!!

London eye!!

Big Ben!!

TRAFALGAR SQUARE!!

Covent Garden!

Piccadilly!

Tuesday, 8th November

LIVERPOOL!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, 9th November

The cab driver was an LFC fan and played LFC songs for us!!!

ANFIIIIIEEEEELLLLLDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sir Alex Ferguson, this is for you! :p

The Beatles Story!!!

Thursday, 10th November

Oxford University campus!!

BICESTER VILLAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, 11th November

THE LONDON DUNGEONS!!!

Covent Garden again!

Watched Phantom of the Opera musical at Her Majesty theatre! No pictures from there of course.
Was good. :D

Saturday, 12th November

PICCADILLYYYY

And one last shopping trip at Oxford St!!

The stuff we shopped!!

The apartment!

Tallest building in the world! Nearly twice as tall as KLCC. :o

LA MER LOL. Had a good time, but I'm glad to be back :)

Everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but you

2011-10-25T06:26:00.003+08:00

I know I said I'll only blog again after finals, but it's 5:50am on a Tuesday morning and I'm awake. I didn't stay up (haha I'd be crazy to stay up when I have all the time to sleep), but I slept early and woke up about 4.30am just now.

Sup guys, nice hair eh? ^^v

Saw an article on Facebook about how to avoid attracting rapists, and in that article there was something about a Ted Bundy who was a well-educated serial killer and rapist who wore crutches and approached attractive women whom he then led to secluded areas and well, yes, you know what happens next. I Googled him and have been reading about him on Wiki ever since. Crazy, crazy guy but really interesting to read about. He had this sexual attraction to corpses as well, and he applied make up on his lifeless victims and did all sorts of things to them because according to him, "They can be whatever you wanted them to be." He did all these things until they decomposed and the state of their bodies no longer allowed him to do so. He didn't become a suspect until much later, and why? Because he hid it well. Nobody would suspect a guy who appeared to be kind, and very well-educated, who was also part of the organisation that searched endlessly for this murderer. Such a shame, he did well in college because he could, and he was goodlooking too. He dated this girl and she ended his relationship because she said he wasn't ambitious and did not have a future (this was when he dropped out of college the first time). Years later, he achieved all sorts of things in college and they dated again, he asked her to marry him and she agreed. Then he broke off all contact with her and she never heard of him again. The only thing he said about it was "I just wanted to prove to myself that I could have married her." Wow.

So my actual reason of wanting to blog was to talk about my bucket list.

Yeap. A list of things to do before I die. Here's some, in no particular order, that I've been thinking of lately. It's not very adventurous, but it's realistic.. I guess.

1. Save a life. I don't know how, but I really do want to. It's not problem for my dad, though, I mean that's his job. But I don't want to be a doctor, so. I mean, to save someone's life would mean to risk yours, right? In most cases I guess. I wonder how that feels like.

2. Travel around the world. I don't just want to visit places like London or New York, or in other words, tourist attractions. I want to travel to places like Africa so I know what it's like there. Then I'd fully appreciate what I have here, you know? Of course, I'd love to witness an aurora but that doesn't seem very likely. Not in the near future anyway, but who knows?

3. Visit Mekah. I'd love to perform my haji one day, but of course, umrah first. I don't know how soon, but I'd love to go with my family.

4. Get married. Ha-ha. Pretty ambitious at age 16, no? I mean, marriage is a wonderful thing. I'd love to get married and settle down in the future. It's pretty normal for a girl to think about these things, right? :P Besides, to have someone feel about you that way should be a pretty lovely feeling.

5. Bungee-jump. A lot of people have done this, and I would like to as well. Hopefully this wouldn't be a problem. I love thrill rides and any of the sort. I went on what used to be the world's longest (or was it fastest? o.o) rollercoaster in Flamingo Land when I was 9, so these things do excite me. Pity my dad, though, he's always the one who has to accompany me since my mom is terrified of heights and my siblings were too short back then. But now, since we both have slipped discs... :(

I actually have a few more on my mind, but it's 6:13am now, so I should pray soon and shower. Then, I should be spending my day wisely and study, right? Chemistry Paper 1-3 and Paper 3 for Biology and Physics next week, so I really have to make sure I do well in my last finals papers of high school.

The next day, I'll be going to London!!!!!! Excited. I haven't been there since 2004. I cannot wait. Although it's only for a short while (since Ayah can't take too many days off work), I'm going to really need and hopefully enjoy the break.

I asked Ayah if we can visit the stadiums, and he said yes, except to Old Trafford. We'll see how that goes. :P

But Anfield, Emirates, Stamford Bridge, White Hart Lane, Etihad, St. James' Park, here I come!!!!!!! :D

Oh, and I decided to listen to some One Direction songs earlier. Listened to two - What Makes You Beautiful and Na Na Na. I liked the former, pretty catchy. Then I listened to Boyce Avenue's cover and fell in love with it (when do I not love their covers, eh?)

It's not catchy. Which is why I like it. :D

Enjoy the rest of the week, you guys! Might blog again this week. It's gonna be a pretty uneventful week for me, but oh well.

And to those celebrating,

Happy Deepavali!!!!!! :D

Anddd,

xxxxxxxxxxx

So no one told you life was gonna be this way

2011-10-16T19:08:00.002+08:00

I never knew my mom was a fan of rugby. Pretty cool, ay?

I'm not a rugby fan, but it kind of annoys me to see people who are suddenly huge fans of the sport. Oh well.

For the finals, I guess I'm rooting for the All-Blacks since everyone else under this roof is as well. It's not like I have a choice anyway.

I have both History papers tomorrow, and I am scared shitless. I'm far from prepared, seriously, I have so much more to cover and I'm scared I won't have enough time. I can't wait 'til Friday. We have no school the following week due to Deepavali holidays so I'm hoping to catch up on some sleep before studying Chemistry, and Paper 3 for Biology and Physics.

I hope I score well for finals. It doesn't seem so likely with how I've been feeling lately.

The other day I was watching covers on YouTube and I stumbled upon this dance choreography of On The Floor which was nice. Watched more videos by the YouTube channel and this one's my favourite:

This will be my last post until finals end, I know I've been blogging a lot lately but it's only to get my mind off things. A lot has been happening and the one person I was hoping to be with me through it all hasn't talked to me for a few days. I guess everyone's busy.

I haven't tweeted since Friday, I don't go on Facebook as much and I haven't replied anybody on WhatsApp and BBM. I barely answer calls and I don't reply texts. I just don't feel like talking to anyone right now.

I don't have my phone either, so anyone who really needs to contact me can contact me through my mom. Doubt anyone would do that...

Bye Blogger. Bye Internet.

FT 1-1

2011-10-15T21:44:00.004+08:00

Beautiful freekick by Gerrard, but even better header by Chicharito. Not the best we could have played (had COUNTLESS shots on target and COUNTLESS chances) but the best we have played this season. My mood? Pretty much the same before the game.

When Gerrard scored, however:

I was jumping up and down and Mommy told me to stand still so she could take a photo (which she then uploaded on Facebook, as usual...)

I wasn't too upset when Chicharito scored though.

Thank goodness he's cute and good and my favourite MU player heh.

Without De Gea, we probably could have won the game by what, 2 or 3 goals?

World class goalkeeper,

he is.

Is it just me or does he look like a werewolf? :}

And hey doesn't Martin Kelly look like John Mayer?

Seriously.

Was really hoping we'd win this game, but maybe next time. Hmm.

P.S.;

Is my point proven yet?

P.S.S.;
Read this. RIP Jack Marshall.

YNWA

2011-10-15T19:35:00.000+08:00

Meet my grandmother. :)

So I'm in my LFC jersey, snuggling in a sleeping bag waiting for the big game to start. It has been a super depressing day, teared a few times for different reasons. I'm really hoping by the end of the game my mood will change.

I haven't replied anyone who has talked to me since last night.

No one ever said life was fair

2011-10-15T00:04:00.002+08:00

Why me, again?

"These days, I haven't been sleeping"

2011-10-14T16:47:00.000+08:00

Skyped with Qaisara and Qadri when they were at KL, accompanying Wan on her usual furniture shopping trips!

Done with papers for this week! Had Tasawwur on Tuesday, followed by BM, English, and ModMath on Wednesday 'til Friday. So far, finals have been okay, wish I worked harder though. /:

Next week I have History, Agama, AddMath, Physics and Biology all in a row. That's like... Sigh. The only thing I'm expecting is 7 sleepless nights in a row, trying to cover everything. When will I ever learn?

LFC vs MUFC tomorrow. It's a bit too much to ask, but 3 points + clean sheet to the Reds, please? :(

Back to studies. I've slacked so much this year. I wish I studied consistently like how I did for PMR. It's not too late, I know I still have SPM but contrary to what a lot of people think, Form 4 finals is actually really important...

Having said that, I have no idea why I'm still wasting time blogging when I should be studying History. I feel stupid xinfinity when I see tweets like "Finished reading Bio, Phys and Sej! Going to do exercises before I continue with AddMath!"

Seriously.

And again, I ask myself,

When will I ever learn?

2011-10-09T18:14:00.000+08:00

I haven't updated since September 19th! So much for regularly posting.
Finals is in a few days, and what am I doing? Not studying. Honestly, the only subject I've been doing consistently is AddMaths and I haven't even mastered all the chapters. I really hope I get good grades, but what's success without effort, right?

I need to discipline myself more.

So yesterday le Wonderm8s threw a surprise 16th birthday do for Ksherah, if I'm not mistaken after all these years, yesterday was the first attempt in organising a surprise and I'm so happy to say KSHERAH WAS SURPRISED!!! She cried. :') So I've uploaded all 430 pictures on Facebook already, and Karyna uploaded around 2 albums as well. Go see! :D

HAHAHAHHAHA.

Have a good week everyone! Good luck for finals. :D

Everything you do makes it easy to fall in love with you

2011-09-19T18:16:00.000+08:00

"Even while playing at Real Madrid, Alonso has declared himself a Liverpool supporter and returns to watch games at Anfield when his schedule allows. He was quoted in The Times Online in 2011 as saying: "I am still a Liverpool fan and will be forever, absolutely" and that he will raise his Liverpool-born son as a Red supporter."

I wonder how LFC would be right now if we still had Xabi Alonso.

What if Torres and Meireles didn't leave? I also wonder how it feels to support a team that almost never loses. Yeah, I'm talking about Manchester United.

My favourite MU player? Javier Chicharito Hernandez!!! :D

So qqqqqqq. :D

Gets me frustrated to watch football games most of the time (seeing as how Liverpool played this week and the week before) but it does take my mind off most other things.

I didn't go to school at all last week. Why? Because I attended this camp at Pangkor for four days. 256 students from all over Malaysia, including Sabah and Sarawak. All in all, it was a good experience and I met so many nice people. Learnt a lot. No, not from the talks I was supposed to learn from (spent nearly all six talks sleeping!), but from the people I met there. The different dialects, the way of dressing, the different cultures, everything. So many memories to laugh and tell le Wonderm8s about.

I'm sick now, and gave school a miss today. I've been sick since Thursday actually. The only plus side to this is that I can swallow pills now. I actually really can! Huge accomplishment.

Went to Qeel's open house on Saturday, it was so nice to see everyone! Even if it was only for a short while. I actually want a few more days off school, but that doesn't seem so likely.

Everyone, go watch the music video of How to Love. Nearly cried.

I like Jason Chen and Sam Tsui's covers. :)

I guess I should go rest again now. Can't get any studying done with how I'm feeling right now.

9/11

2011-09-11T17:09:00.000+08:00

That first part there. You know, it isn't easy reading so much hate on your religion being posted all around the internet. Tell me, how would you feel if every other religion said that about yours? You wouldn't like it. But what can you do? Nearly everything you say in your religion's defense will only get hate again in return. All you can do is pray that one day, they truly see the truth. Breaks my heart every time someone says something like that.

"Muslims are terrorists."

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but it downright hurts when the majority's opinion revolves around Muslims being terrorists. That's also where discrimination takes place.

"Hate the man, not the religion."

He was a terrorist. He represented himself and what he believed in; which of course, was not the right thing.

He does not represent the rest of us. In our religion, we believe violence will never solve anything. In any religion, violence will never solve anything.

This really touched me though.

Ten Years Later: A Tribute 9/11
My favorite 9/11 tribute in New York City can be found in Bryant Park. 2,819 empty chairs on the lawn facing the site where the World Trade Center once stood, one chair for every life lost. The number of empty chairs captures the enormity of the lives lost and the stark emptiness of it just drives home the point that I hope is never forgotten. 2,819 people were here one moment and gone the next. 2,819 went to work or boarded a plane one morning ten years ago thinking it would be another ordinary day and they never came home.

Don't get me wrong, I truly feel sorry for the 2, 819 people who lost their lives because of this incident. In fact, my family does have somewhat something to do with the incident. (Click here to read)

"Dear America, your 9/11 is our 24/7. Sincerely, Palestine."

But don't you feel sorry for the hundreds of thousands of innocent people in Palestine who die everyday?

If I was a flower growin' wild and free, all I'd want is you to be my sweet honeybee

2011-09-11T15:20:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I laughed so hard reading the textversation between Nadeem (Hilman's friend) and Mommy. Too cute. As for the first screenshot, super fail moment for Ayah hahahaha.

I'll be going to Pulau Pangkor tomorrow until Thursday. Sounds fun huh? Unfortunately it's not for a holiday, it's for this Kem Pengurusan. The itinerary is full of talks and talks and talks, there's hardly any outdoor activities. Good side is, I'll have Azrianna, Shashee and Carlos! Hopefully I'll meet more people I know there, and also make new friends. Oh and the next day after I come back is Hari Malaysia, which means it's a public holiday! That would also mean I'd be absent from school for 5 days straight, which is something I've never done before. Excited. Hehehe.

Exams are nearing and I need to buck up.

Until the next post! :)

Every girl's worst enemy

2011-09-10T21:27:00.001+08:00

I hate cramps.

He was like a fake friend who warms you up and takes you in

2011-09-08T18:47:00.002+08:00

I had an emotional breakdown last night. That was the first and worst one in a long, long time. I don't know why it happened, it just did. It felt relieving to let it all out since I've been keeping it in for some time now. Right now, I'm feeling much better. I can still feel that something isn't right. Maybe it'll happen again tonight? Who knows. Lately I've been so optimistic (compared to how I was before), and I've been taking things so positively. Until last night. Who am I, anyway? I don't matter to anyone. Maybe I can be a good companion, but I don't see myself as someone other people would miss when I'm gone. I guess it's just me. I hope it's just me.

I deactivated Facebook and deleted the Twitter applications on my phone. This is probably temporary though. Maybe what I see on those two sites is what made me so down? God knows.

So, I was talking about this with Nad at school earlier. I've never lost anyone close to me. I was thinking about it the other day too. I really haven't. I don't know how it feels like and I don't know what to expect when it happens. Both my parents and my siblings are well, thankfully. So are my maternal grandparents. I lost my paternal grandfather exactly two months before my first birthday, so I was too young to feel anything. I've been living with my paternal grandmother my whole life. All my close relatives are well and healthy. I know I shouldn't be thinking about this, but how can I not? Everyone will die one day. And you know what would hurt most? When someone dies unexpectedly. Heart attacks, car accidents and all that.

Moving on, 2nd change this year?

I have stopped swearing. :)

This was my New Year's resolution many consecutive years ago, but of course it never worked. Until this year. I saw this picture sometime in January which really changed everything. I think I still have it in my phone or old laptop somewhere. I do admit I may have accidentally said bad words, but Alhamdulillah, not more than 10 times this year, I'm confident to say. Amazing, isn't it? Whoever reading this might think it's stupid, but I'm pretty happy with myself. Kinda teaches me to really watch what I say. Now, I don't even want to type bad words.

I've been thinking a lot about everything lately. I went home (after four months) a few days before Raya, and I came across my photo albums when I was a baby. I swear I was cute. I don't know what happened. And all the photos were taken in England, when I stayed there for two years since my birth. Imagine if I led that kind of lifestyle now. Also, I was browsing through my friends in UK's Facebook profiles. I think... I miss it. I miss living there. I miss Newcastle. I never really felt like I did. Maybe because I lived there for only a year from October 2003 to October 2004. Never really felt attached to anyone. I guess somewhat know how Ikha and Adani feel. They stayed there for years and years, so I can just imagine what it must be like for them. I miss the education system there. And the lifestyle I led too. Of course life was simpler when I was nine. On spring mornings, I'd walk to school with Mommy and my siblings, passing by the houses which had beautiful gardens. The flowers, the trees, the air, everything. During summer, I'd play with the other kids outside at the playground. We explored the neighbourhood on our bicycles. When it was autumn, everywhere was... beautiful. Covered with red leaves, all trees bald for that season of three months. School was good too. Recess (I think it was called playtime there) was for an hour, half the time spent in the cafeteria and the other half playing in the field. Hula hoops, footballs, skipping ropes, everything. Even assembly wasn't boring. I actually liked the hymns they sang, which I sang along to as well. Every week we had Show and Tell. During winter, the snow was always wet, and wasn't dry or heavy enough for us to play with and make snowmen, unless we were lucky. Shows on TV- I still remember Dick and Dom in da Bungalow. I remember my first favourite band was Busted, followed by McFly. I bought issues of Smash Hits which I still have now. Sleepovers at Ella's and Katie's, going to Josh's, Jonny's, Esme's, Ella's, Katie's after school for tea. Walking home to my friends' houses for projects or to read books or play the XBox. Visits to the library to borrow books and meet authors who visited sometimes. Garage sales and all the things we bought there. Not to forget the Malaysian families we made friends with there. We even went to Scotland together, a roadtrip, about three to four families. Lake District, all the mountains and beautiful sceneries which I didn't appreciate so much back then. I got a scooter which is collecting dust at home right now, which I played with nearly every single day after school with my friends from the neighbourhood. I learnt skateboarding too! Not actual skateboarding of course. I always saw the big kids skate at night outside my house, down the pretty steep hill. I played with Nazran's skateboard, sitting on it and going down the hill, doing little tricks (more of my own tricks). After some time Ayah even bought me my own skateboard, which too is at home somewhere. I also went to Alnwick Castle! Which was where they filmed some scenes in Harry Potter. Pretty cool. Also, my second trip to Disneyland Paris. I still have my autograph book somewhere. Barbecues, parties, dinners, everything. I even remember my farewell party. Mommy played my Busted CD on the radio. I had it at Giant's Den. Everything's suddenly so clear now. I really wish I can go back someday, before high school there ends. I'd love to meet everyone again. I'd love to catch up with my old friends and meet their friends. I don't know if I would be welcomed but I would really love to go again someday. Maybe, just maybe, one day, I will.

You hurt me, but do I deserve this?

2011-09-05T18:29:00.001+08:00

HI GUYS.

So Raya break's over and today was the first day back to school.

Raya was good, slightly different than past years' celebration though. Food getting better and better. :D

School was quite dull today. In addition to Interact Club stress, I now have to worry about Editorial Board too. Finance segment! Anything to do with finance is tough. :( It'll all be worth it, I hope.

Mommy and Ayah have been more strict with me recently. I guess it's good, since I've actually been doing my homework lately. The amount of homework teachers give is crazy, I tell you.

_____________________________________________

Now, the actual purpose of me writing this post. I've changed this year. Some ways bad, others good. I really hope for me it's been more good changes than bad, but I'm not one to have a say on it.

Since I've been blogging a lot lately, I'll talk about it before I start studying for finals and lose my mojo after.

I've started watching more football! I've always supported Liverpool FC (thanks to my dad), but I only started watching all their games last year. Before that, I'd be the one getting drinks for my dad in the kitchen while he watches the game. I've also been watching other games like MUFC, AFC, THFC, etc.! Not bad, I guess. Honestly better than wasting my youth away always going online.

That's one change for now! I'll keep posting at the end of every entry. :)

You'll Never Walk Alone ♥

I feel...

2011-09-02T09:07:00.002+08:00

Lonely.

If two people are meant for each other, it doesn't mean they have to be together right now, because eventually they will.

2011-09-01T17:36:00.008+08:00

Love, such a silly game we play

There ain't no reason you and me should be alone tonight, yeah baby

2011-08-29T19:13:00.002+08:00

That's how I look like now after being up since last night doing Ed Board work. All I've been doing today is call people up and do some homework. Who knew something like this could be so tiring?

Raya's tomorrow and I haven't even helped Mommy prepare. After I shower, I'll go down and do what I can, though everyone knows I'm not much help in the kitchen. Heh.

I cut my hair btw. I guess you can't really notice. I quite like it now, but I'm going to shower soon. Gonna wash my hair. Hair = back to disaster.

Before I end, I'd like to wish all Muslims out there a Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri for the Islamic year of 1432. Forgive me for all my wrong doings this past year, I've changed, I'm aware of that, but if I changed in a bad way, I do hope I'll be a better person for the years to come. Change is inevitable - so might as well make the best of it, no?

I'll update about Raya when I can. I'm quite excited. :)

The Story of Us

2011-08-29T07:07:00.000+08:00

Scared for finals. Need to start studying soon.

"Study hard, pray hard. As they say, study like you've never prayed, and pray like you've never studied."

Stuck in the moment

2011-08-27T20:33:00.000+08:00

Haven't showered since this morning.

Leadership Seminar was good. Had fun actually. :) Last one for me, heh.

Followed Mommy to OU after that. Happy with my purchases, even though all I got was a phone cover and a new screen protector. Oh and! Another pair of Raya shoes. Alhamdulillah. :)

Always wanted this. :B Unfortunately they only had it in black. :(

:D Unfortunately, because of my back, I can't wear high heels anymore. Saw so many nice ones but heh... I can't even wear high wedges. :(

The lamp that Wan got for me!!!!!!! It's so pretty!!!!!!!!!!

And the table!!!!!!!!! I was expecting a study table so I cleaned my room again to make space for it but no.... HAHAH.

Raya's in a few more days. :)

Be Calm

2011-08-25T20:22:00.001+08:00

Just showered, I feel so fresh. :D

First mixtape in a while, thank you Mira ♥

Went for ICBB's Installation today, it was good! The incoming BODs opening act was super cute. & oh my God, I think Rtn. Chris Ng's such a nice Rotarian. Seriously. So funny too hahah.

Puan Yeap's retirement tomorrow. Although she never taught me, I'm going to miss her tons. All those trips to the office to see her about Interact or anything else, hm. I wonder who's going to replace her.

Then it's the weekend. Excited. :) Leadership Seminar this Saturday at CHS!

Til the next update,
xxxxxxxxxxxxxI'mcoolxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You'll Never Walk Alone

2011-08-24T21:20:00.001+08:00

Liverpool game tonight! Got my tee on~ :D

[Edited] ; FT Exeter 1-3 Liverpool (Suarez, Maxi, Carroll) #YNWA :D
Carroll needs to score more goals to prove that he was worth the money. I still don't understand how he cost more than Suarez.

Hear my thoughts in every note

2011-08-22T20:30:00.000+08:00

I've been thinking a lot lately. About the future. Thinking about it scares me. It really, really does. I don't know what I want to do in life. I don't know where I want to go after I graduate next year. I don't know what I'll be doing, even. I know some things turn out perfect when they're not planned, but not this. All I know is, I want to study in the UK. I want to travel... I really do. Whatever happens, I just want to be able to travel the world and see what it has to offer. After Form 5, we'll all go separate ways. Most of us, God willing, will be studying abroad. Different parts of the world. We'll make new friends and we'll definitely be busier than ever. Of course I'd love to make new friends but I'll miss the ones I have now so much. I already do, most of them anyway. I've drifted apart from so many people who have always been there for me. Not a nice feeling. I love my friends. I love my family. Of course, there are a few relationships that can and should be mended before it's too late, but honestly, I'm thankful. I'm thankful that I have these people in my life now. Who would I be today if it weren't for them? New life, new drama. Then after college, after university, what next? One by one each of us will get married, hopefully. Settle down and start a family. Who knows, in ten years time it would be one of our weddings? I don't know what to expect. I've slacked a lot this year. I really need to buck up. Especially since I don't have a plan on what I'm doing with my life. This has gotta change. Soon.

In ten years time, I want to know that I made the right choice. In whatever I end up doing.

Wonderm8s

2011-08-22T16:38:00.002+08:00

Wonderm8s (formerly known as Tablem8s heheheh) berbuka at Azraa's yesterday was fun ♥
Baked rainbow cupcakes, pizza, baked potatoes, chicken and salad! Not bad at all. :)

We started with the cupcakes!

Yummy. :B

HAHA SYAZA.

Then we baked pizza. :B

Fallopian tube made out of sausages!

Cute cat pizza. :D

Deathly Hallows pizza. :D

We made two other heart-shaped ones, and two normal round ones.

Azraa's mom helped to bake the chicken and prepare the salad!

And we sang along to songs (with the help of lyrics on YouTube) while cooking. :D

Planking on the way to Tutti Frutti!

I love you guys ♥

Thoughts

2011-08-21T01:13:00.001+08:00

There are some people you meet in life that really are irreplaceable.

Love you, Nik.

"I keep on thinking you're going to leave me to study abroad and I'll miss the living shit out of you."
"Hopefully I get all A+ so I can get a scholarship to wherever you go."
"When I tell my kids about my life, I'll tell them you were the best thing that had ever happened to me."

Life's like that

2011-08-20T17:26:00.000+08:00

^ That's me in a bad mood.

I really wanted to go out tonight.

Thanks, parents.

Life can do terrible things

2011-08-08T05:48:00.000+08:00

Listen to this. Just. Listen.

And that's why I smile

2011-08-07T12:51:00.000+08:00

Presidents 2011/2012!

Missing: Dana & Arvind.

Wow, it's already August. Time needs to slow down. Then again, like I've said many, many, many times, I just cannot wait for this year to be over.

Went for ICSMKA's Installation yesterday! Honestly, it was really good. If only more people attended. The opening act was really something different too.
Left at exactly 11 to go for theory class. Surprisingly, that went well too. HAHA WOWWW.
Got ready for BOD Dinner. Honestly, I haven't had that much fun in so long. Spa + karaoke at the Beauty Lounge, then dinner at Bangkok House after. It was supposed to be a complete BOD Dinner, all 17 of us, but Elynna couldn't make it. :/ Hmm.
Took tons of pictures, now waiting for Marina to upload 'em!

Things have been pretty good lately. I really hope this goes on. I know it's all in the mind and I can actually do something about it, but I just hate being upset all the time. Heh.

And, Nad did a grrrrrrrrr8 job with the blog!!!! Click here to see. :')

So the theme for our blog, namecards, quarterly reports and club t-shirts is Comic. Pretty cool huh? Maybe that'll be our theme for the whole term. Can't wait to get our namecards and club t-shirts!!!

And of course, please don't miss out on ICSA's Annual Installation. We'd really appreciate it if gave us your support by attending! Viva La Interact. :)

Gonna go off now. See you later alligators~

Awesome Foursome

2011-08-07T12:39:00.001+08:00

2008,

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHA.

Oh God.

:')

ICSA's Annual Installation 2011/2012

2011-08-07T00:59:00.000+08:00

Please support, I'll love you forever if you do. ♥

Viva La Interact!

Realizing everything is going to be okay.

2011-07-22T19:17:00.002+08:00

I was blog hopping, and I came across this. (via Ee Leng)

Khalid Qadri bin Khairul Suffian

2011-07-06T23:19:00.002+08:00

Hello everyone, meet Khalid Qadri, my 5 year old cousin.

Yes, he's super duper annoying more than half of the time, but sometimes,

He's the only reason I smile when everything else is going wrong. :)

♥

Time to Dance

2011-07-04T19:08:00.001+08:00

Went to ICSMKA's International Understanding Day : Silent Reveries 2011

'Twas good. :D

I love ICCPJ.

♥

"My teacher asked me what I want to be when I grow up, I said happy. She told me I don't understand the assignment, I told her she doesn't understand life."

2011-07-04T18:12:00.003+08:00

-John Lennon.

"Never apologise for what you feel. It's like saying sorry for being real."

2011-06-27T02:00:00.001+08:00

Probably the worst Sunday I've ever had.

Then again, I should learn to stop complaining.

Because as Arif says,

"Look at it this way. Somewhere out there someone is having a much worse day than you."

I better appreciate things more. And never take anything for granted.

It'll make me a better person. Which is exactly what I hope to be. :)

I love them to bits ♥ :)

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood

2011-06-21T13:11:00.000+08:00

Wow. I miss this tons. 2010. Things are so different now.

2009. Oh God, hahaha. I remember this day. Heh.

It's the 21st June today and I haven't blogged in two months. Not that that's the longest I've gone without blogging.

So, updates?

PRS Camp was good. But personally it didn't feel too much like a camp because we were far too relaxed. I guess I'm saying that in comparison with last year's camp. Let's not get to that. I love PRS. PRS is like my second family. Love them to bits. Can't believe next year's my last year with them.

Supercamp was good too. I still miss it. So many memories, good and bad but I'll just leave it at that. I love Interact too. PRS and Interact are probably the two things I will miss most about high school. So so much. Hm.

ICLSPJ BOD 2010/2011 during DG's visit at the start of the year! Always the funnest bunch of people.

Not bad eh Sean camwhore. HAHA. What a long time ago.

I've got all my Midterms papers back already. I could have done better but I'm pretty satisfied with my results. My position in class dropped a little from March test though but it's like that every year anyway. Results keep getting worse and worse. Oh well.

Homework? Lol biggest joke. I only bother doing my homework because if I don't, my formative marks will be deducted and I can't afford that. I haven't been paying much attention in class either, I always fall asleep.

Life has been tiring.

But it hasn't been too bad. :)

Passed up my Interact assignments the Monday when school reopened, and I have to say I was so relieved. I'm so glad I completed all the assignments.
Next step would be Interview / Speech / Debate. Scared for all three. I really really hope after everything, I'll get the post I want. Hopefully that's the post I deserve.

We had IU Day last Saturday. I would say it was pretty good, the YAWA performance was awesome. I was part of the fashion show and the Mongolian native outfit I wore caused everyone to laugh at me. Not that that's a new thing either heh.

No, seriously. Don't I look like a scary guy to you? :o

Sirens For Silhouettes is in another month. I don't want to say much about this but I really, really hope that everything will go as we plan it to be. So scared.

I better see all of you guys there ok. Seriously!

Samad's IU Day is this Saturday and Deviation's combining with 12.0 for a dance performance. Can't say I'm not excited, hoho.

ICCPJ Carnival is this July 16th. Another thing to worry about. Hmm.

All of y'all better come ok seriously!

Why am I blogging at this hour anyway? I should be at school.
I'm not feeling well. Didn't go to school yesterday either. I'm missing out on so much.

I'm doing the NiE magazine thing. At first I was really excited about it, now I just can't wait to get it over and done with. Sigh. I like the topic though. For this magazine, my group's doing on Safety. This magazine is about Superheroes! Yayerz.

I guess that's all for now. Don't expect another update anytime soon.

I don't sound happy, do I? Hmm.

2011-04-23T14:50:00.001+08:00

You said you needed a little time for my mistakes, it's funny how you used that time to have me replaced

I actually really miss the concert. He's so cute... No no. I don't want to like Bieber. I don't want to be crazyyy. ):

She's very lucky. :((((((((((((((( When she sat on his lap. :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((

I don't wanna be in love

2011-04-23T02:28:00.000+08:00

So, before I forget to blog about this,

Justin Bieber was great!

Everyone has probably heard this a million times by now (more, I'm sure), but really, it was a good show and well worth my RM288. And this is coming from a non-Belieber!

Fetched Ikha after school and went home to Wan's to get ready. Reached Stadium Merdeka by 4pm and queued up with Aisyah, Ikhwan and his brothers, Thabeena, Aleeza and Nadirah. They let us enter the stadium at 5.30, sat down for a good 2 hours and 30 minutes waiting. Thank God our area was covered though so we didn't get wet (It was raining cats and dogs and every other animal la ._.). Surprisingly, Mizz Nina came out just before 8pm. Not bad ey? Right on time.

Had to wait an hour plus for Bieber though, there was a 15 minute countdown and the DJ entertaining us was pretty good. I noticed all the songs he played had the lyrics "Put your hands up in the air!"! :D

So how was the show, exactly?

It was honestly one of the best concerts I've ever been to. Not exactly because of Bieber himself, but how everything happened. It's hard to say. Like how they arranged everything and all. There wasn't much connection between him and the crowd though, definitely. Anybody who wasn't too intoxicated by just his presence on stage could see that. In fact, like Ikha said, he didn't even look genuinely happy. Like something was bothering him? Idk. I liked how everything was planned though. Like in between songs when he changed attire / was getting ready, they played clips of him when he was younger. Sooooooooo cute I'm telling you. And the little things he did on stage. He played the drums! Not bad at all. And he sang acoustic while playing the guitar for two songs I think. He's pretty good at dancing too! Ah and of course, the OLLG. Honestly, the Beliebers should calm down and not be so mean. She wasn't ugly at all, in fact I thought she was pretty. :) And towards the end, the lights suddenly went off and we thought the show ended because on the screen it said "Thank you Malaysia and Good Night! Love, Justin Bieber." Then the words on the screen changed and it said

DO YOU WANT MORE?

REALLY?

REALLY?

REALLY???

THEN MAKE SOME NOISE!

LOUDER!

LOUDER!

Something like that. I found that cool! :P

AND OMG GUESS WHAT HIGHLIGHT OF THE CONCERT OK AFTER THAT JOEL MADDEN MADE A SURPRISE TURN UP AND PERFORMED ON STAGE HOMGGGG I CRIED OK SERIOUSLY.

He sang Dance Floor Anthem and I was happy beyond words. I wanted to go to Good Charlotte's concert in Std 5 / 6 but I couldn't, and finally, after 5 years, I saw Joel Madden :') I may not be as big of a fan as I was back then but seriously. I was so, so, so happy. Noone expected it :')

The last song Bieber sang was Baby. This part was really cute. He asked the crowd what one last song they wanted to hear and obviously everyone screamed Baby. So at first he was like "What? Hit me baby one more time? HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIMEEE~" He did that with a few other songs with the word "baby" in the title, can't remember what else though. BUT THE BESTTT was definitely "Oh you mean Baby Got Back? I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE~" Super adorable, no kidding.

I really wanted him to sing Overboard. :(

I tried calling Mommy (like I do at every concert I go to) but I had no line. I tried calling Mira too! Especially during Dance Floor Anthem, but the calls couldn't get through. Sucks -.-

So 16 people squeezed in a 7 seater car on the way home. Simply epic, ey?

Ikha sleptover and we talked about things a little before going to bed. Woke up at 1.45 (Y) Spent the day lazing around and ordered pizza for late lunch. Yummy...............

I better be going to bed now. It really was a good night. I enjoyed myself and I hope everyone else did too :)

2011-04-16T02:15:00.000+08:00

I think I looked quite happy. I want that feeling again. Genuinely happy. At least for a while.

Tired eyes. This was a month or two ago.

I look a lot worse now.

I'll update more soon.

EVERYDAY I'M SHUFFLINNN'

2011-04-06T00:42:00.003+08:00

It has been 846230847913 years since my last update! Freaking long post ahead, don't say I didn't warn youuuu!

DEVIATION / MARVEL-US

Of course I'd blog about this. :)

I never thought I'd end up dancing. Seriously. Anyone who has seen me attempt to dance (Interact installation 2010 lolol) would know how horrible I am at it, no kid. But I've always liked seeing people dance. And I love watching dance movies! :3

So it was the end of February when Marvel-us were looking for people to join their group before the 2nd audition. I didn't know anyone in the group and at first I was really really really reluctant to join. Trisher eventually talked me into giving it a shot and well, I did. I don't know why I ended up joining anyway. I had endless doubts about this, and as usual, ~~lacked in confidence~~. (I really gotta thank my bby Mira for being there for me through everything, from Day 1. :))) )

It was a week to 2nd audition and we started spending many hours at Arena for practice. We mostly played around, and the night before 2nd audition was super emotional for everyone. We were far from prepared and did not even practice full routine yet. Arena switches their lights off by 10pm every night so we sat there in the dark until about 11pm. We didn't have any confidence to pass the audition. Heh.

But hey, we ended up passing! :3 Sze Teng and Arven were new members to our group after the audition. And we changed our name to Deviation. Whee.

Everyday during the school holidays we'd spend about 6 hours at Arena. Truth be told, only about 3 hours were spent on solid practice everyday, the other 3 were spent playing around / waiting for others / eating / sleeping / playing futsal. FUTSAL = FUN.

We had a lot of complications. Regarding our choreographer, our routine, our songs, video presentation. Everything. Things started getting stressful for everyone and I started skipping everything for dance. Tuition, handball, football, Interact, taekwondo, Blue House. Everything. :/

There was a point when it was about 9 days to ICC.

We didn't have our full routine, we didn't have our dance attire, we didn't submit our video presentation yet, we didn't register for ICC, basically we had a lot of things that we didn't settle yet. Oh yeah, and I got grounded around this time as well. Haa.

Practice started becoming hardcore, everyone started being serious. Endless arguments. We were nowhere close to ICC standard on Thursday night. And ICC was two days away.

The night before ICC.

We were sharing the practice spot with Bhangra Kings. So we practiced, and practiced, and practiced. From noon straight until 11pm. We were FAR from satisfying, FAR from good. We didn't have a good finale. No good finale = incomplete routine. Just imagine. The night before ICC, and all this happens. Towards the end of practice things really started becoming horrible. Some of us started crying. Some of us just sat and stared into space. So we went home eventually, with everything unsettled.

The next morning we practiced everything a few times. It wasn't what we would call perfect, but heh.

Then it was time for us to perform.

It was my first time on stage like that. Felt all sorts of emotions, screwed up some parts, enjoyed the rest. After our performance we felt like we didn't do our best. Honest.

When they were announcing the results towards the end, every other group and performer were holding hands. Except us. "Why do you guys wanna hold hands? Trust me. We're not going to win."

That's how badly we thought we did, and how great we thought everyone else did. Of course we were happy when Deviation was announced 2nd place for the modern dance category. We honestly did not expect it. At all.

During practices,

We played around a lot. We procrastinated a lot. We were not disciplined enough. We were not energetic enough. We screwed up a lot. We cried a lot. We laughed a lot. We slept a lot. We played ping pong and futsal a lot. We took pictures a lot. We talked a lot. We did homework a lot (lol actually no only Sze Teng did this). We watched Bhangra Kings practice a lot (!!!!!). We pissed each other off a lot. We argued a lot.

I made new friends! With people I really never thought I would. Grew closer to each other. Got to know each other better. Laughed together. Shared stories together. Helped each other.

Practices were really something to me. Slowly started to like dancing, even though I'm still far from good. Enjoyed it. Probably won't end up dancing again. So ICC 2011 truly did mean a lot to me. :)

Thank you Megan, thank you Lydia, thank you Trisher, thank you Yew Wing, thank you Sharon, thank you Shalinee and thank you everyone else who helped. Thank you to everyone else who supported us through it all! ♥

I'll miss all that. Definitely something new for me, great experience.

But honestly, after ICC. I was far from genuinely happy. Felt horrible, felt so bad. I've got my reasons why. Until now, I'm feeling pretty miserable about it.
I wish you guys did not say bad things about us behind our backs. I wish you guys did not blame us for winning. We did not bribe the judges. We did not boo y'all. We shouted and cheered for you guys. We thought you guys were great. Really broke my heart when I found out. Thought we were actually friends.

You'll Never Walk Alone

2011-03-07T00:23:00.000+08:00

I promised Marie a happy post tonight, so here you go! :

3-1 BABYYYY.

But hey, you know what I can't stand?
People who bring other teams down so bad, it's ridiculous. Admit defeat. Be mature.
We know you're good. You know you're good too, of course, right? So shut up. Enjoy your victory. You can't expect to win all the time. If you do, congratulations. If you don't, get over it. It's expected, it's football.
Just shut up.

Really.

Anyway, on to other things (or rather, teams),

I don't have a Liverpool jersey, sadly, but this will do for now!

CHELSEA, CHELSEA. CHELSEA, CHELSEA.

Excuse my sleepy face!

I hate having a lazy eye. So noticeable. Left eye's smaller than my right. Kinda cross-eyed too. Wonderful. :)

Gonna sleep early tonight. Great game by Liverpool gave a kick-start to what I'm hoping will be a good week ♥

By the way, this is funny: "Dirk Kuyt gets a hattrick? Berbatov says: BEEN THERE, F*CKING DONE THAT!"

HAHAHAHA.

Night! X

2011-03-06T17:12:00.002+08:00

Deactivated Facebook again. I bet everyone's like, "Gosh, what's wrong with this girl? Deactivate, reactivate, deactivate, reactivate."

I don't know either. Facebook sucks. I hate what I see there. Yeah that's what I said the last time too.

"I HATE YOUR FACE GET OUT OF MY LIFE."

So relevant right now.

____________________

March test is overrrr. Results? They're okay, but pretty crappy.

Didn't fail Bio. Got a B. Thankful.
Only studied History on the day of the exam itself. Got a B. Thankful.
Lost 4 marks in Addmath because of a REALLY careless mistake. Can't get over it. But I got an A. Thankful.

I don't want my Chemistry / Physics paper back.

Screw feelings. Feelings suck.

Bye.

You're all that I hoped I'd find in every single way

2011-02-15T09:04:00.001+08:00

Salam Maulidur Rasul to all Muslims! ♥ :)

Even though it's only the third day, so far this week's been good. Don't want to let anything to get in the way of how I've been feeling lately. And yes, lately I've been feeling satisfied and actually happy with everything. I hope it stays that way. :D

Awww I like this tee. I think I'll be wearing it today. Captain Underpants ftw! ;)

Have a good Tuesday everyone!

2011-02-14T01:58:00.000+08:00

♥

And

Happy Valentine's Day

to those celebrating it!

2011-02-11T02:00:00.000+08:00

BEEN DOING THIS ALL NIGHT.

IT'S 2AM NOW AND I HAVEN'T STARTED ON MY HOMEWORK.

I THINK I SHOULD DO IT NOW. DON'T YOU?

Love hurts. Boys lie. Friends cry. People die. Parents yell. You always try. You're never good enough, and you don't know why.

2011-02-05T19:06:00.000+08:00

You know that heavy feeling in your chest when you don't have the desire to do anything except be on your own and cry your heart out about everything- in other words eat your feelings?

The worst part is, most of the time you don't know why you feel that way. And if you do, you prefer to keep it to yourself because usually, it's about the same thing anyway.

I feel that way a lot. Maybe I don't let out as many tears as others but the feeling is there though. That uneasy feeling.

Then I feel nothing but even more horrible. I'm supposed to be grateful for what I have. So many others have it worse out there.

But what do I do? Complain, complain and complain. Whine, whine and whine.

It isn't healthy, I know. It doesn't make me a good person either.

I let out my feelings and I rant to those I think (and hope) are willing to listen. I feel so much better after that, I feel relieved. But what about those people I rant to? I'm sure it's a burden to put up with my nonsense. And I'm sure they have their own problems too, just like everyone else. I'm not the only one with "problems". Mine are nothing but dissatisfactions.

I can be a good friend to those who matter. And I care- even about people whom I'm not close to. Strangers. I am concerned.

I just don't feel like I'm good enough, you know? My self-esteem merely exists.

I'm changing. I'm really trying to be a better person.

Give me time?

Love changes everything

2011-02-03T21:33:00.001+08:00

Random fact #2

Things like this make me smile. It makes me think twice about.. hating (for lack of a better word) humanity and what everything has turned into.

I wish this was how things were everywhere else around the world. For all races and religions, you know?

I'm not racist, and I'm really against racism of any sort.

I'm not that bad or childish of a person, by the way.

I do have a heart. :-)

Your skiiin, oh yeah your skin and bones turn into something beautiful

2011-02-03T17:30:00.002+08:00

Random fact #1

Ahmad Kamil

Amir Arshad

Aqilah Azlan

Bryony Jones

Daniel Wong

Elynna Hashri

Esmeralda Noor

Ezrul Mehzas

Faisal Khairol Anuar

Fiona-Farhana

Hanna Ghulam

Jim Zahari

Jonny Morrison

Kaii Zawawi

Karyna Suhaimi

Mai Najihah

Marie Tan

Mira Nadd Qadri

Nadiah Ramli

Nadiah Roslan

Qaisara Qadri

Sarah Syaiha

Sean Andrew Nikhil

Sean Morais

Shahmi Shafie

Tharmendra Wemel

Yasshene Manuel

I like my Webcam album.

I sort everyone I webcam with into folders, in alphabetical order.

3 a.m., string of green lights in a row

2011-02-03T09:57:00.002+08:00

So many things I'd wish for right now, so many things I wish I could say.
They'll all make me sound like an ungrateful brat.

I wish I was better than this.
I'm overreacting, I know.

Nobody knows how hard I've been trying or how hard this really is for me to accept, okay?
Shut up, stop judging.

And don't ask questions.

And all you're ever gonna be is mean.

2011-02-01T20:40:00.000+08:00

Been so, so, so upset lately. Reminds me of ~~June 2010~~.
That was horrible..

I really don't like this feeling.

2011-01-22T18:53:00.001+08:00

Hello Blogger! I haven't blogged for some time, because of this:

Yeap! So I've been pretty busy. Things really sucked the first few days of school, but I guess things are getting better. Everything's still such a blur when it comes to studies though. I quite like Chemistry but Physics is just.. I don't know. I really don't.

Off to do homework now! Proper update sometime this.. year. Yeah.

I really miss this song.

My username for my laptop is still Beckett since 2008. :}

Have a good week everyone ♥

So lucky, so strong, so proud

2011-01-02T15:11:00.069+08:00

Hm. On a brighter note,
HAPPY 2011 ERRBODY! :D

Late by a day. I wanted to blog yesterday but I wasn't at home for most of the day, so hm.

So how did I spend my NYE? Decided to spend it with my family for a change. :) Finally went home after a month plus, cleaned my room and toilet! Ended up being really fun actually. :D

After Maghrib, went to Nenek's house for a family barbecue. Atuk's relatives from Padang, Indonesia were there too. Watched television, ate, ate and ate, and bonded with the rest of the family.
It was 11.48pm when we left to watch fireworks. We were in Damansara Heights and drove to Sunway Kiara Hills, awesome neighbourhood, a lot of the residents were white people you see, heheh.

So anyway, we had a really good view overlooking pretty much the whole of KL. Could see KLCC. We made it just in time! :D :D :D Saw fireworks from four different places. Got a few New Year calls from some people too ♥ :)

Went home to Wan's after that, went online for a while before going to sleep and I guess that concludes how I spent the last day of 2010. Nothing much, but I liked it. :)

Spent 1.1.11 mainly at Aunty Onair's house in Kajang. When Mommy gets together with her friends, they can talk literally for hours non-stop. At 3am today, she still wasn't done yet, so we ended up staying there for the night.

Watched the football matches that were on last night and also rugby this morning. Gonna do that more frequent now. Pretty entertaining, and plus, it means more bonding time with Ayah. Heheh :)

So, since everyone's posting what their resolutions are for this year, I guess I'll post mine.

Try my best to cope with everything / don't slack off so much.
Make new friends but keep old ones. :)
Appreciate more.

Yeah, you get the drift. I tried to make it as specific but as general as possible (if that makes sense) so it won't be so hard keeping my resolutions. I guess what I'm trying to say is, my main 2011 resolution is to

Become a better person. :D

Maybe a little of this too:

Heheh. To those who still have school, good luck and have fun tomorrow people ♥

2010-12-31T02:05:00.000+08:00

I wish you would look past every
"It's okay, you can spend time with your friends, I won't disturb you."
"I'm fine, don't worry about me."
"It's okay, I know you're busy."
"I'm fine, you can talk to me later."
"It's okay, I was just wondering if you got my text."
"I'm fine, I'll just do something else while waiting."
"It's okay, I understand."

And realise that by that,
I do understand, it's just that I may want a liiittle more of your attention. Just a little bit more won't hurt right? And you know, if you show that you actually want to talk to me and made more effort in our conversations that would be cool, yeah.

"'Cause honest opinion, he could/would have got whoever he wants but he chose you."

2010-12-30T21:34:00.002+08:00

"Jealousy is one thing and being overprotective is another. Jealousy is when 1 is in love and wants him to be happy, but also wants him to be happy with you. Overprotective is when 1 wants to be in control of the relationship without caring whether he is happy or not as long as he is with you."

If a guy doesn't get jealous, then there can be 3 answers

1: He is just acting not to be jealous but actually is

2: I forgot give me a while to think

3: Like what I said just now, something is wrong

Ah I got 2

2: He doesn't get jealous because he trusts you and knows that you wouldn't go for other guys :')

2010-12-26T13:19:00.000+08:00

He broke up with you, right? After telling you he loved you and calling you pet names like baby and cutie? Yeah, I know he lavished you in compliments, only to put himself down so you would stroke his fake low ego. Did he tell you that you were beautiful? I bet he promised you a personalized song. Or maybe he’d always mention how he was lying in bed and wished you were there. He dragged “I love you” out of you, didn’t he? Yeah, don’t deny it. He would talk to you last thing at night and first thing in the morning. He constantly mentioned losing sleep over you, every night, but we both know he slept like a rock. He made you love pictures that were just sort of “bleh” before. Did you delete those pictures after he broke your heart? Yeah, me too. All of your friends hate him now, don’t they? Remember how happy they were for you? They warned you. Just remember, ~~it’s okay to cry~~. And referring to him as “asshole” is perfectly expected. Because, trust me, you’ll end up talking about him just as often, if not more, than before the break up. There will be the “one time”s and the “I remember”s, and once you think you’re over him, watch out. You better keep your eyes closed in the hallways, because I promise you, the next time you see him, he’ll be all over some other girl. A little part of you will want to warn her, but nobody will blame you for hating her and for blaming her for your pain. Yeah, you’ll compare all guys to him, because aside from the man-whorish, heart-breaker thing, he was perfect. He was everything you had ever wanted. Or maybe you made that up. Maybe, the second he started to show interest, you made up this perfect guy in your head, and he just happened to be just like him. Listen, you will find the perfect guy for you just like everybody says you will, and it will be soon. Okay, so I didn’t believe it either, but I’m starting to.The most important thing though is don’t let him know he hurt you. Don’t let him know he could have you back in a heartbeat. Don’t give him that satisfaction. Make him think you’re completely happy. When he decides to wave at you like nothing ever happened, wave back, sure. But don’t smile. Make him think he meant as little to you, as you obviously meant to him.

(via whiteblankpagexo4)

Thank you, Esmeralda Noor :)

2010-12-26T00:05:00.002+08:00

Alhamdulillah.

I still can't believe it. I'm not even.. happy. Not yet anyway. I feel satisfied, very satisfied, but I just don't feel.. happy. No idea why. Can't quite grasp it yet, maybe. Oh well.

So after results, went to OU with Mira, Seri, Nadd, Azraa and Ksherah. Did nothing much really just shopped and ate. It was nice though. Next time we go out (+ le tablem8s!) we go karaoke + movie + laser tag kkkkk. Wao so much money suddenly.

Went home at around 4 cause didn't have transport to go home anytime after. Took a much needed nap and got ready for dinner at Curve. Ate at Tony Roma's! Yummm. Went home and slept pretty early. Wait. Or did I sleep late? I swear I don't remember much from Thursday o.o

Next day (yesterday), basically shopped for school essentials. Bought exercise books at school, stationery and revision books at MPH.. I think that's it. Got a haircut too! Fixed my fringe and well got only about 1 inch of my hair cut off. Can't really notice the difference but I kinda like it :D

Went home and got ready for Marie's. SO CONFUSING LOL had to call her literally every 10 minutes for directions. It took me an hour to finally get to her house hahaha. Was the first one there so chilled in her room and hehe hijacked her Facebook, Formspring and Twitter.

Everyone else came soon after. Ate (the food was goooooooooood) and talked. And played Cooking Mama and nerf gun and camwhored. :D Fun, really ;) Tharma sent me home that night, thank you Aunty!

So today, ate lunch at home and left for Sunway Giza with the family for karaoke! It was much better than I expected. They had McFly and Busted songs ok aaah awesome.

Sang to Crashed The Wedding and I realised how much I miss these boys.

I can't believe the official music video isn't on YouTube aiyo what is this la. But they broke up before YouTube even existed I think sooo. Heh. I don't know anyone who likes them, even. So sad.

THEY ALSO HAD CAN I HAVE THIS DANCE LOLOL HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 FTW. So syok sendiri sang that alone cause noone wanted to sing with. Nevermind.

:') !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know why noone else likes this song. Lol.

Went to OU to collect movie tickets for Tron Legacy tomorrow, shopped a bit and had dinner at BBQ Chicken. Left at around 10.30, took a drive around Damansara Perdana before finally heading home.

By the way, I haven't gone home in ages. It's been over a month in fact. Since before we went to Australia, we've been staying at Wan's. I miss home. A lot.

The past three days have been pretty much great. Really. I hope the rest of the year will be like this, if not better. Can't afford to feel shitty or whatever when the year's so close to ending :)

It's 12.08am on Sunday right now and I think I should be sleeping soon. Tired, but.. Hm nah I'll prolly sleep late again. K bye.

And to those who celebrate it, hope you had a merry christmas! ;)

2010-12-22T11:00:00.001+08:00

"I'm not sure I believe in the term soul mate, at least not in the way others seem to.
I think people come in and out of your life
and each and every person is meant to teach you something."

2010-12-21T19:36:00.000+08:00

How much prettier can you get, Taylor Swift?

You came along and you changed everything.

2010-12-21T16:08:00.000+08:00

Maybe there was once a time where whatever my friends thought played a part in my decisions, but that time has long passed. Everyone changes eventually. They changed, I changed too. I guess once I stepped back from that person I used to be, the one that lived for other people, I found out who my real friends were. All I had to do was look around, at who still remained. One flip through my phone contact list, I could already pick out who I would call, and who I wouldn't, who would answer and who would press ignore.

I was just, simply put, tired. Tired of making decisions to suit anyone other than myself, tired of being used as my so called "friends"'s stepping stones, just another person who they could use to get to where they wanted to be.

Once again, don't bother approaching me, asking who this is about.

If you play with fire, you'll be the one feeling the heat.

(via Nadiah Ramli)

I was enchanted to meet you

2010-12-21T12:48:00.000+08:00

I'm not good with words. Looking back at my drafts, there are a few posts I've written halfway but never got around to finish and actually publish it. Not to mention how horrible my grammar is, therefore ~~lack of confidence~~ in blogging, heh.

So, PMR results will be out in two days. Nobody seems to believe me when I say I have zero confidence in getting straight As. Seriously. I really don't think I can get straight As. Of course I WANT the straight As, heck, if I could I would've worked so much harder if I knew I'd be feeling like this two days before results come out. I'm pretty sure it's the same for some (or most) other people.

Also, I have this feeling that karma's gonna get back at me for how I've been this year. Not the best person, that's all I can say. Especially for the past two months between PMR and results. Enough about that.

There's only 10 more days left in 2010. Time flies by fast. Wow.

So how was 2010 for me? Much better than I expected. Last year, all I could say about 2010 was "2010's gonna suck, PMR PMR PMR" But really, this year hasn't been all that bad.

I joined Nirmala's tuition. That's gotta be one of the better decisions I've made this year, if not the best. I met so many new people that I'm still friends with now. Close friends in fact, and I hope it'll stay that way for a long time. You know who you areee. :)

I learned to appreciate things better. It may not show but really, I do appreciate things and people more now.

I have learned to be more trustworthy. I admit, before this it was pretty hard keeping things to myself but sometime ago I went through my stack of magazines at home and there was one Smash Hits magazine issue from 2004 (I think). There was this Girls Aloud interview. If I'm not mistaken Nadine said something like "I keep secrets because I know how it feels when people don't keep mine. And I don't want to be the person who doesn't know how to keep secrets. So I believe that if I keep other people's secrets, they'll keep mine." Or something around those lines. I also have another reason why I think I can keep secrets now but I'd rather keep that to myself, haha it's pretty embarrassing.

Family? I can't thank them enough. For everything.

Friends? Well. Where do I start? I admit I haven't been the best friend to the ones who matter this year, and I really don't know how to explain myself for that. I've changed, I know. But not all for the worst. And there are some people whom I'd rather not mention their names, who just don't get that. Sure, I've made new friends. But everyone else has as well. And of course when you make new friends, you get to know them better and you talk to them more. Of course when this happens the whole "drifting apart" from your other friends happens as well. I'm tired of getting blamed for that. I know half the things that are being said behind my back. If you're really my friend, you'd understand. It's not that I don't care about you anymore, that's not even close to what I feel. I try to understand all of you, I swear I do. And drifting apart is honestly inevitable. Change is as well. But if the friendship you once had and hopefully still do have with someone is strong, that won't matter. 'cause no matter what happens, you'd still be there for each other, through thick and freaking thin.

I guess that brings us to how I've changed. Contrary to what most people believe, I'm not that open with my feelings as I was before. There are quite a number of people (I'd like to believe I trust) who I do tell them what's on my mind especially when I'm feeling like crap, but there's a whole lot more to that. I've never really told anyone everything about myself. Obviously there are some things you gotta keep to yourself, right? But what I mean is, I guess I don't trust anyone enough to tell them about how I really, really feel sometimes. Get me? No? I don't think so.

"Because at the end of the day, the only person you can trust is yourself."

True in some ways, but sometimes I doubt if I can even trust myself. And it's hard to really trust others because when you do, you're putting yourself in risk of getting hurt. In fact, you know you're gonna get hurt eventually when you trust someone, you know? But I guess even so, there are some people who are worth getting hurt for.

Damnit, I'm beginning to talk crap. Hahaha. What happened to talking about 2010?

There's really nothing much to elaborate I guess. Studies? We'll see how that goes this 23rd. Fingers crossed.

This is the potential break up song~

2010-12-20T09:20:00.000+08:00

It's 9.05am on a Monday morning and

PMR results are coming out in three days.

I'm sorry, I just had to. How did I spend my weekend? Well tbh only Sunday's worth talking about as on Saturday I did nothing but ~~laze around the house~~. As usual. Heh.

Sunday 19th December 2010

Woke up and got ready and by noon left for Prince Court Medical Centre in KL. The hospital's owned by Petronas and holy shit it's one of the nicest hospitals I've ever been to. Probably the nicest actually. We were there cause Ayah had to give some motivational medical talk to the medical students / students who just finished their SPM who wanted to take up medicine. Something like that.

His talk was pretty cool I guess. So many lame jokes I don't know where to hide faaace -.- There was this cute chinese guy (in a suit okay!!!!!! :D). I think he's mixed something heh heh he reminded me of Nicholas Hoult.

Oh yes.
But obviously Nicholas Hoult is better looking la eheh.

So after the talk left to Sri Kota Medical Centre in Klang I think cause Ayah had some patients to visit. Ate at the cafeteria and then left for Wan's.

By that time it was already 7pm and we had an hour to get ready for dinner at the clubhouse with Ayah's patient.

So blablabla, had dinner at Jojo? Some new Italian restaurant there. Food was good, people were nice. I think we stayed there til about 11pm heh. In the car on the way to Wan's Mommy told me that Ayah's patient is Tun Mahathir's son in law and the girl I was talking to is his granddaughter who is studying in Australia and has been studying there since she was 14, I think. Also, this other guy and his family who joined us for dinner is some big person at Naza? Yeah. And I had no idea o.o Pretty cool :D

I have a feeling today's not gonna be such a bad Monday. We'll see how that goes :)

2010-12-17T14:48:00.001+08:00

#nowplaying Sorry's Not Good Enough

2010-12-17T13:12:00.000+08:00

You're a dreamer and dreaming's what you do

Nadd, Mai, Neesha, Aliah, Neena, Aqila, Eli, Nad, Aisyah, Karyna, Me, Huda, Mira

2009, I miss ♥